In the realm of vacation trends, cruising ranks as about the biggest.
Nearly 7 million travelers scattered to the four winds on cruise ships last year, sailing in everything from 100-person skiffs to 3,000-passenger gargantuans, according to the Cruise Line Industry Association (CLIA).
But is cruising for everyone? Purists would say an unequivocal, “Yes.” After all, it “promises something for everyone,” to quote a lyric from that old 1970s chestnut, The Love Boat.
But after several real-life excursions on perfectly lovely, passenger-friendly boats, I’m of the mind that life at sea is just not for my family.
Lest I be made to swab the deck, let me say that I’m not out to malign the industry. As a child of the 1970s, I fantasized about my ocean excursion with Julie, Gopher, Isaac, Captain Stubing, and Doc. And as an adult, I’m impressed by the many on-board bells and whistles that make The Love Boat look quaint. The largest liners today boast such once-unimaginable perks as ice-skating rinks, rock-climbing walls, and in-line skating tracks.
So what makes a family unseaworthy?
Schedule Anxiety: Where’s the Love?
A typical cruise vacation is a string of scheduled events, which range from the benign — shuffleboard — to the anxiety-producing — most notably, timing your family’s shore excursions so that you can make it back to the ship before it sails. While many people thrive on such structure, I find it an impediment to relaxation. A typical day in Oppenheimerland is already an exercise in precision scheduling, and watching the clock on vacation makes it way too much like work. For me, time off means never having to say I’m sorry I’m late.
Cruise enthusiasts would counter that how much you do is purely a matter of choice, that you can ignore the activity-packed timetables and shuttle happily from cabin to chaise longue to dining room. To some degree, this is true. Your children, too, can hang with you or engage in one of the elaborate kids’ programs. And meal schedules, once immovable, are becoming increasingly relaxed — more and more lines are introducing free-form dining that dispenses with specific times, tables, and table partners.
Still, we found the overall hustle and bustle overwhelming. Sprawling ships cart lots of people, and even large decks can feel small, particularly at peak season. Frequent activity reminders, via loudspeaker (you’ll hear them everywhere, including your cabin, from roughly 8:30 on), can interrupt your reverie, not to mention your sleep. I’m no misanthrope (well, sometimes, according to my kids), but I like some space to myself. Even my children were a little overwhelmed. If you’re looking to spend your retreat relishing a quiet, uninhabited corner, the finite space of a cruise ship may not be the place for you.
Cabin Fever
Living on board a cruise ship, even for a short time, is indeed a marvel.
But the actual living space — on average 170-200 square feet, about half that of hotel rooms — is tight.
Such a squeeze probably means little to those for whom sleeping space is just that — a place to lay your head between activities. But it can be stifling to a family like mine, which likes to recharge in the room at midday. The situation can be especially difficult if you’re traveling with a small child in need of an afternoon nap.
You do have some options. On Disney ships, for example, the standard outside staterooms (with a window) measure 214 square feet; more expensive cabins with a veranda are 268 square feet; and standard interior cabins come in under 200 square feet. On any line, connecting rooms can help. According to cruise expert Linda Chase, opting for outside, as opposed to inside and thus windowless, accommodations can create the feel of more space — at a price, of course.
The good news: more and more lines are offering private balconies, even in standard cabins (as opposed to just in their luxury suites). On Disney ships, for example, nearly half the rooms have private balconies; on Royal Caribbean’s Voyager of the Seas, the number is nearly two-thirds.
If You Sail
Many doubting Ahabs have come away from their first cruise experience happily surprised — so much so that they repeat the experience multiple times. But satisfaction is not guaranteed. To ensure success, you’ll want to do a couple of things before shipping off.
Enlist an expert. CLIA-certified cruise specialists, such as Chase, are required to cruise on multiple ships, and to tour many more. As a result, they can spontaneously cite ship facts, such as which has the smallest cabins and the best kids clubs. I found Chase at eGulliver.com, a new service that matches your vacation needs with an appropriate human (as opposed to virtual) specialist.
Ask about kids’ programs. During the early planning stages, ask about ages and requirements for kids programs. The day of embarkation is not the time to learn that your child does not qualify for a club for potty-trained children ages 4 and up.
Know your dining options. Early dining means early dining for every meal. That might work well for dinner, but it may be a hindrance if you’re late sleepers and the first seating for breakfast is at daybreak. If assigned seating is unappealing, ask about ships with flexible dining plans.
Book flights through the cruise line. If you book your airfare on your own, and miss your ship because of delays, you’re out of luck. Either spend the extra bucks for the designated flights, or plan to arrive a day or so early.
Start small. No matter how enthusiastic you are, don’t book your family on one of the big boys first time out. Ships like Voyager and Explorer of the Seas can seem irresistible on paper, but the behemoths only run week-long excursions, and seven days can be an eternity if you discover halfway through that the adventure isn’t for you. If you haven’t been at sea before, consider a three- or four-day jaunt to start; if you love it, you can always go back.
Bon Voyage.
By Lisa Oppenheimer
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